Daily Life With The Buechels: Reflections

As I sit here in this chair I start to think about what our life was like this time last year. This time last year we were on our way home from my in laws. We had just had cake & ice cream and celebrated my brother in laws birthday. It was just another day for us. We had been busy from putting everything up from our baby shower on the 9th and trying to get everything in little miss Audree's room. I had gone to bed just like any other night!! We said our prayers, rubbed my belly and told Audree night night and off to sleepy land we went. NOBODY was prepared for what 3:30 AM would hold for us......... Our lives were put into shock and nobody was ready for what little missy was about to do!

At 3:30 AM I woke up with an urge to go potty, just to potty and nothing else. Brett had left for work @ 2:30 that morning so it was just me and little old daizee. I woke up, stumbled down the hall and sat down. Something just didn't feel right and I started to cramp a tiny bit. I thought to myself "Girl would you calm down in there". It was just a matter of seconds before my life literally felt like it flashed before my eyes. I turned the light on to see that there was blood everywhere. It was on the floor, my legs, my shirt, the carpet, i mean everywhere. I sat in shock and in disbelief for a minute or so. After I came back to Earth I grabbed the phone and immediatey called Brett. I told him "honey you need to come home now, Im bleeding and there is something wrong with Audree." Afterwards I called my mom, dad, inlaws, tiffany, and of course the ever so important on call Dr. We had a baby heart doppler so I laid on the bed until Brett got home and listened to Audree's heartbeat to ensure she was still okay.

We arrived at the hospital @ 4 am and we were all nervous and did not know what to do. I mean we still had 2 months to prepare for her arrival! I got wheeled up to L&D and got checked in. Well I guess pregnancy once again took over my brain because when I registered I registered as Jean Apryle and not Apryle Jean- DANG PREGO HORMONES TAKE YOUR BRAINS EVERYTIME :o) The nurses would not allow anyone in the room with me while they asked me questions, which i was completely upset about. I mean here I was fearing for the life of my child and they wouldn't even let Brett in the room. They got me undressed, and immediatley hooked up to the monitors. As every little contactions, and ladies and gentleman I mean they were so tiny they were barley registering on the monitor, I cringed. HAHA Im a big baby!! They immediatley called the on call ultrasound tech and the on call Dr. It was only moments before my room was filled with strangers and they were talking a foreign language. Audree has the hiccups in my belly which was quite amusing and lightened the situtation a tad bit. They saw that I was having a placenta abruption and they decided that it was time for our little angel to arrive. They guessed she would be around 5 pounds and they tried to prepared me for everything that was fixing to happen. We could not proceed with a regular delivery due to the fact that I had already lost so much blood, so they broke the news that in just a few moments I would be having a c-section.

My mom called Courtney and she called her dad THANK GOD!! Dr Koeritz was in my room in a matter of moments and I felt relieved. I trust this man with my life and of course Audree's. I was so paranoid and didn't know what to do or what to think. I remember telling Dr Koeritz please let everything be okay. He assured me that she would be just fine and so would I. I was rolled into the OR and everything got started. As I was laying flat on that table I thought to myself WOW It really looks like what it is on TV. Yeah I know what a thought before delivery huh? Brett came in and sat down beside me and we just looked at each other. I heard Dr Koeritz say well she is almost here. Of course I asked DOES SHE HAVE ANY HAIR?!?! He said yes she has a ton! Then all of the important questions came like is she okay? is she breathing? what in the heck is going on with her? At 5:57 AM little Audree Emma came into this world weighing in @ 4 lbs 13.8 oz and 18.5 inches long. She was rushed to the NICU due to her lungs being so immature and she couldn't breath that well on her own. They did stop by the table for a few nanoseconds so I could see her. I said her name and she turned her head and made a whiney noise. It was instant love at first sight.

I was wheeled into recovery and the NICU Dr came in and told me everything that was going on. They told me she was stable and doing okay for the time being. After I laid in recovery for a hr, i finally got to go to my own room. I had to lay completely flat for a few hours, which by the way was not comfortable. I refused to take any medicine because I was afraid it would make me all crazy. I mean the spinal was all I needed right? WRONG!!! I quickly changed my mind once my stomach felt like it was on FIRE!!

At 9 AM the NICU Dr came in and told us that Audree has been hooked up to a ventilator because she was struggling to breath, but we could finally go in and see her. Brett and the rest of the family made their way to the NICU to see our precious angel. I was not allowed to get out of bed so I had to sit and wait for pictures and videos. Everyone came back and told us how amazingly beautiful she was. When I saw pics of her I cried and just thought thank you Lord for our precious precious child. We had visitors all day off and on and they really helped keep my mind off the fact I didn't have my baby in the room with me.

That night I tried to get out of bed @ 9 to make my way to the NICU. Unfortunatley it didn't happen. I couldn't even stand, due to the pain of the c-section. I didn't sleep a wink that night, I called the NICU nurses numerous number of times to check on Audree and make sure she was a okay. They assured me she was doing just fine. It was very hard the first night. I had babies on both sides of our rooms who were crying in the middle of the night and their parents and family got to soothe them. I had to listen to the cries of the newborn babies, while I laid in bed and cried myself. I had a hard time struggling with the fact that I couldn't hold my baby, i couldn't feed her, I couldn't even see her on her very first day in the world.

The next day I woke up and was ready to make my journey to the NICU. It was a SLOW process but I FINALLY made it!! I cried when I first saw her and I think I cried for about 1 hour. I would just hold her hands, and rub on her feet and talk to her. I asked a million and one questions about all the machines, how they worked, what they did, how it related to her, etc. Audree was on the ventilator for the first 5 days, she was then knocked down to a cpap machine for 1 day, then down to oxygen. She progressed very quickly and we all thought she would be home in no time, but little missy decided she would show us who was boss. Everytime we would prepare for her to come home, she would have to act up and the Dr would tell us nope she isn't ready. I always blamed it on those darn NICU nurses. HAHA They had her ROTTEN TO THE CORE!! She just didn't want to leave them. I told them they have to be a little mean to her so she would want to come home with us!!

The NICU nurses were AMAZING!! They always answered any questions I ever had, no matter how many times I asked them the same one!! They are the sweetest women and men I've ever encountered. They are so sweet and kind and they truely care for those babies in the NICU. we had some of the BEST nurses we could have ever asked for. God sent them to us to watch over Audree and give her the best care possible. I have to say even though we were good and ready to come home after being there for 1 month, I was sad to go. They had become like family to us and they still are!!

Now here I sit almost 1 year later and think where in the world has the time gone? Wasn't it just yesterday I told Brett we were having a baby? Wasn't it just yesterday we found out she was a girl? Wasn't it just yesterday we gave birth to her? Im truely having a hard time with her turning one. Ive cried my eyes out until I think i cant cry anymore. Sometimes they are tears of sadness and at times they are tears of joy. I think look how far my baby has come! She started out her journey weighing only 4 lbs and now she is 22. She is now crawling, crusing, walking, talking, and most of all being the boss of this house.

Audree Emma Buechel you are the light of my world. You are my reason for living and breathing. You mean more to me than you will ever know and ever could imagine. You are an angel and a blessing sent to us from Heaven & God. I never ever knew how much I could love someone until you were in our lives. I thought I knew what it would feel like to hold you, I thougth I knew what it would feel like when you hold you arms up to me, and I thought I knew what it would feel like when you finally said momma. It was MORE than I ever IMAGINED. You make me smile so much, even when you do get into trouble. You are the happiest little girl Ive ever seen and I am so very thankful for you. Happy Birthday little Angel!! Mommy & Daddy love you so much.